Today, I have a headache.

Both a literal headache and a figurative one…all day long.

I hate feeling sluggish. I know traveling can be tiring but usually I can handle it. Maybe going to (below) freezing places has an extra sedative effect. My mom has charged me with making dinner so that is making me feel more productive…let’s hope I don’t mess it up.

I’ve also been stressed with the general state of things since graduation, as many people my age are. All this overanalyzing has taken a real toll and today, after having the resolution I reached over the weekend be shattered to pieces, I decided to forget about everyone else and everything and all this yearning and blah blah blah and just SET a goal and do whatever I can to reach that ONE GOAL. I am an idealist and a dreamer by nature but I live in the real world so I’m going to start acting like it.

Ok, I went to Boston this weekend to view my lil sis’ thesis performance. She goes to the Boston U. College of Fine Arts and everyone in her program has to do a thesis.  I think there are like 20 acting majors so they’ve spread it over a few weekends and 3 other people performed along with my sister. I didn’t know what to expect in terms of format. I know she had to do everything–casting, choosing the pieces, etc but I didn’t know what it would be like. Essentially, each of them had a 45 minute performance where they performed various scenes and monologues. It was a very emotional night. My sister’s work was the saddest but overall, you can imagine that actors have a lot of emotional stuff going on. Each of them were so talented too…it’s sad to think of how many conservatory programs are out there with extremely gifted actors and we’re sitting watching movies that recycle the same actors/directors/crew. I tried not to imagine how many of these kids will have a huge struggle ahead of them but I left with a bittersweet feeling. I know it’s silly to lament a life not yet lived and I hope against all hope that they will all be successful in their own way!

Anyway, she was SO GOOD and I wish everyone could have seen it and it was so her. Everything down to song choice was the outward expression of her. So great. Being in Boston, while it hurt my legs a lot, made me realize how much I like living in a place where I actually see people. I said that about NYC and I’ll probably say that again because I’m going there again next weekend but I’m so excited to move eventually. Which is that one goal I was talking about.

I’m writing this post and cooking at the same time so apologies if my writing seems distracted.


One thought on “Today, I have a headache.

  1. Too many headaches! You know I’d offer you pharmaceutical if I could; figurative ones will have to suffice. ❤
    "Sad to lament a life not yet lived" — oy, I do this frequently.

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