Last night, I made the mistake of going to bed earlier (around 11 pm) to try to reset my sleep schedule; it has slowly been creeping to 1am bed times and I have to be up around 7am on Wednesday.
I couldn’t sleep for quite a while though, and my brain proceeded to take over in an impressively elaborate cognitive spiral of doom. Among the topics troubling me were:
– how do X-rays work??(for my exam on Wednesday)
– where will I find a hospital to do my summer practical?
– how will I get to the NET building for microbiology every week (yes, a THIRD year course) since I can’t use the subway?
– what do if I do if I get a bout of kidney stones again?
– people I have lost due to death or circumstance, and how to deal
As de Montaigne said, “My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.”
That becomes clear enough in the morning, but not when it’s dark and you’re alone with your thoughts in bed. It probably doesn’t help that we’ve been watching CNN’s and the BBC’s coverage of the defining moments of 2012, which consists largely of the conflict and unrest in our world.
I’ve also started to notice a pattern in my pre-exam thought process:
1 week before: I’ve got plenty of time! I must aim to ace this test, it’s totally doable.
4 days before: So much to memorize!
3 days before: Please, powers that be, let me just pass, that’s all I care about.
Day of: Screw it! I tried.
Happy New Years Eve! A more positive recap of 2012 will follow tomorrow, I think 🙂