Yesterday, I cashed a check and my mom told me to go grocery shopping for the fam…by myself (bad idea). This morning, as she comes to say goodbye before work, she sits on my bed, tells me she will forgo the lecture, and simply offers me the cash if I clean my room.
I’m not a messy person. I don’t even sleep in my room. I sleep in the guest room. I technically use my actual room as a large closet, throwing anything I’m not wearing on my bed, aka laundry basket, and any clothes I need to wash on the floor, aka hamper. When I’m done, I close the door, sealing in the catastrophe and succumbing to the blissful ignorance that is sleeping in the spotless guest room.
But my mom wants me to act like I actually live here. So I took the bribe and cleaned my room. Now, I’m sleepy.
Well played, madre. Well played.